Monday, 4 February 2013

Dryathon? What a Load of Cock!

To whom it may concern, I have a bone to pick with you.

Hopefully by now, all you January abstainers will have fallen off your high horses wagons, got your arses down the pub and started supporting our industry again!

One thing that really irks me is that you people choose to take a month off drinking during the quietest time of year! Come on people, give your local a fighting chance and ignore it in October or November when you're supposed to be saving up for Baby Jesus birthday!!

Better still, drink in moderation all year round and you won't be so miserable during January! Then everyone will be happy. I mean you may as well say "I can get pissed for the rest of the year because I was really good and took January off" Please stop making me vomit, it's ruining the taste of my beer!

I am really, truly and utterly sick of people moaning about how they can't have a drink because they're taking January off, stop moaning! Best you fall off the wagon hammered than make me listen to the reasons why you're not drinking!

For all of those people whose reason is financial, if you only spend what you actually have, you wouldn't have to take January off to pay your credit cards!

I realise that I have readers who were having enforced booze layoffs for health reasons and I forgive them, really, I do. But unless your Doctor said stop drinking in January or you'll die, I'm very disappointed in you. Go stand in the naughty corner. Or better still, go down the pub and buy the most expensive pint you can find to make up for January!

So that's it, rant over. As you were.





6 comments:

Matt Oliver said...

I went to the pub more than once so do i get a lolypop like at the dentist when im a good boy

Glyn Roberts said...

Yep, and a pat on the back. ;)

Cooking Lager said...

Thank you for telling everyone in a free country how to live there lives (to support pubs) because not enough people do that. Well done.

Glyn Roberts said...

Their lives, Cookie.

Professor Pie-Tin said...

I took one evening off the sauce in mid-January.
It was the longest 20 minutes of my life.
Sorry Glyn.

Glyn Roberts said...

Good work, old chap!