HOORAH!
Finally, women will stop stealing pint glasses from pubs!
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| The Purity Goblet |
Seriously fella's, even though it looks suspiciously like every other beer goblet you've seen, let's rejoice in our reclaimed masculinity! No longer will we look like a big wuss standing next to a woman drinking a beer from a Nonic! no! we will look like MEN again!!
I also hear that a craft brewery we've all heard of will be creating it's own 'lady glasses' a quite different receptacle than these mere 'goblets'. No these will act as an audition for those on first dates. So boys if you're not up to it, don't order it...
But back to Purity's 'Lady glassware'...
Let's quote one of the owners, shall we...
"Purity believes drinkers, both male and female, are becoming more discerning and opting for quality over quantity" he continues..."Our consumers buy into what we do" and adds "We are more aligned to their values, while the big boys have moved away from localised business".
In plain English this means, we've sold a lot of beer and want to be bought out by one of the big boys so we can retire. We're trying to look trendy because some of the bog boys have already tried this female glassware nonsense and their graphs and spreadsheets tell us it works...
He continues, "we operate within a 70 mile radius - there are over 500 pubs in the whole area who stock our beers" meaning No, really! You might be able to get our beers in the rest of the UK but they're likely to be out of date and a bit nasty having travelled from Mordor to the free world...
Continuing to bang on about being 'local' the brewery opened a bar in Birmingham not too long ago and are now looking at Manchester, Nottingham, Bristol and London for more venues. The Scots and the Welsh are just too far away though so fuck them.
Cue Twitter outrage.
