Clearance was given with the condition that AB InBev sold nearly all of SAB Millers European based businesses, worth about €71bn.
|AB InBev new logo|
A faceless spokesman from AB InBev was quoted as saying "seems legit" before letting out a huge SAB flavoured burp.
Brewing Super-villain, Julio Utter-Bastard commented, "i just wish i'd thought of that" before going back to being Taxmans bitch.
Margrethe Vestager, commissioner in charge of competition policy said "this decision will ensure that competition is not weakened in these markets and that EU consumers are not worse off; well, no more worse off than if they'd drunk their own piss anyway".
"Europeans buy around €125bn (£98.8m) worth of beer every year so even a relatively small price increase could cause considerable financial harm to consumers! After all they are already paying over the odds for that crafty stuff, they only reason they drink the fizzy yellow piss is because it's cheap, it would have caused another world wide financial collapse"
Ahead of their AGM to be held in June, the Secret Guild of Beer Blaggers released a statement through one of their most revered members, Aidy Sweary-Pants saying "We, the Guild, would stand behind this takeover only if the quality of the beer isn't affected" he kept talking but in words only understood by an alien race known as the Xtellr (pronounced Crap-O-Beer) so we kinda stopped listening after that.
Average Joe Public looked on bemused and said "as long as i ain't paying that for my fucking beer next week, i'm alright wiv it!"
Life goes on as if nothing has happened.