Because Gingers Need Love Too

This is turning into a bit of a birthday blog, last week it was 'less-young' Dredgie and this week it's the one who scoops reluctantly.
Yes you all know him, the Monty Python of Beer Blogging, donner of the ginger merkin and drinker of weird and wonderful beers!
Today is Simon Johnson's Birthday! Happy Birthday dear sir!
Now I'm fairly certain he's going to be drinking special brew, sorry some special brews, all day long but I thought that him being a ginge n'all, I'd recommend some decent ginger beers for him to try so here it is.

Beaumonts - Alcoholic Ginger Beer. 4% lovely refreshing hangover cure, just ask Moggy.

Marble Ginger, 4.5% - one word. Nom.

Williams Bros Ginger Beer, 3.8% apparently it's lovely, never had any myself.

Crabbies - If you must. Personally I think it's horrible.

Idris - Add a shot of Vodka.

I'm sure there are others but I'm supposed to be working and I don't really have the time to look them up. 

What I will say is follow this man on twitter @simonhjohnson read his blog, it's pure gold(with a ginger tinge) and if you're really lucky, have a beer with him today, a better drinking buddy you could not have!

Happy Birthday Simon!

Happy Birthday Not-so-Young Dredge!

So, it's Young Dredge's birthday, what's he doing, celebrating with beer of course! I don't know exactly what he's drinking this evening but I'm pretty sure it's going to be brown and dull....

After all, he's 27 now, not-so-young anymore methinks, time to start wearing sandals and investing in that beer belly, time to stop shaving and grow a 'Larkin-like' beard.

It's ok though Mark, you can wear socks with your sandals during the winter like Tandleman or that bloke that used to be Cooking Lager. 

If you do manage to make it over to Tap East this week I've invested in a note book for your ticking so you can join your mates stumbling from one skanky boozer to another dribbling over barmaids and sexy pumpclips. 

Just do the rest of us and most of all the lovely Lauren a favour, remember to bathe as you get older, I know, I know, it leaves less time for ticking but remember, no one likes the buzz of beer flies around a person!

Hoppy Beerday my friend. Enjoy.

Overrated? Pah!

I'm drinking a bottle of Bear Republic Racer 5.

It's Lush.

You might not like it. 

I might tell you to get a tastebud readjustment.

It's Lush.

That is all.

Beer School or Charm School

Just had a short but thought provoking text chat with Tony Lennon, GM of craft beer bar, The Euston Tap regarding a visit from a sales rep(tile)* he's just had.
Tony's point was that this lady had a very good brand to work with and indeed very good beers that she was trying to sell but she knew fuck all about beer! Apparently she was trying to use her female charms and i'll quote Tony's text here so there's no confusion, 'she literally batted her eyelids at me. Like I'm some sort of sex starved Wetherspoons manager. Please....'

Please indeed. We all know he's gagging for it!** ;)

pic found at tiffanyandlupus.com - SuperTony

But getting back to my topic and Tony's point which is a very good one, a bit of beer knowledge goes a long way. If a brewery hires a person to cold call into pubs with their beers, surely they should take the time to teach the person about about the beer they are selling?

I have had a similar experience with a brewery which will remain unnamed. When the rep first walked through the door at The Rake(it was a couple of years ago) she was young, giggly, dappy and frankly I found her extremely irritating.

If a sales reptile has to use their charm as a sales technique then they have already lost the battle with me, especially if their product does not stand up to scrutiny, as it didn't in my experience.

In summary then...
Reptiles! Know your product! Because you do not know me! I don't care if the reptile is female or male, know your bloody product! I'm too busy for that sort of shit, stop wasting my time!
Breweries! Train your reptiles! Because I won't order from you if your reptiles do waste my time!

Flirt with Tony by all means because he's gagging for it but he's a very knowledgeable chap so don't treat him like a piece of meat, he'll just feel used and dirty, tell him about your beer, your brewery and the birds and the bees!

Going to go and wash my brain now.


*reptile is what I call them, because I'm mean.
**Just too easy.

Session #57 - Guilty Secrets.

So I have a couple of minutes spare, although I don't know where from to be honest! Thought I'd try and get back in the swing of this blogging malarky! It's amazing how much time work takes up nowadays!
This months session is brought to us by Steve Lamond from Beers I've Known and the subject matter is once again a bit of fun - guilty pleasures or guilty secrets, call them what you may, we all have them and they do rear their ugly, unwanted head from time to time.

A couple of years ago I probably would have cited Guinness as my guilty secret but then I started doing the drunk diary in January and it quickly became apparent that I drank a lot of Guinness for want of any decent beer on the bar.

Nowadays my guilty secret and it's not really even that secret, is probably the fact that when I'm really thirsty, I don't go for a nice refreshing pint of lager, but rather a fruit beer, alcoholic ginger beer(sometimes for breakfast! Thank you Beaumonts for sorting me out on many a hungover occasion) or, shock horror, a cider!

However, I'm not one to really hold with the idea of guilty secrets, if you like a beer, then you like a beer, who cares what it is? I will say that if you have to hide the fact that you like a beer because your mates might not think it's cool means that you're not really giving the brewer of that beer the respect they deserve. Get over yourself and remember that somewhere, somebody will be thankful that you are drinking it!

Commissioning Day

The sun is yet to rise.

The Brewer is on his way.

The Malt, Hops, Yeast and Water await,

Commissioning day is here.

The brewery sits shiny and bold,

Copper waits to be filled,

The world is waking up,

Commissioning day is here.

No turning back now,

The moment is here,

How long does it take to brew a beer?

Commissioning day is here.

Outside it is calm,

Before the inevitable storm of people that will come and point, stare and gawp,

I will sit in my sanctuary and make notes of the day,

Commissioning day is here.

Found : One Craft Beer Bar Manager

Sorry, who are you, I've been away for a while, You're face is familiar but just can't place the name. Normally I would now make some unfunny quip like 'unless you've been living on Mars'.

So unless you've been living on Mars you'll know that I've been busy opening a sparkly new brew pub with Eddie, Mike and Rich from Utobeer.
We were initially approached by Westfield in the middle of July, they had come up with this idea for a market within a mall. Not just any market, a Great Eastern Market, somewhere you could get away from the throng, yes I said throng, somewhere you could enjoy the calm and tranquility of artisinal produce with a well made beer or two. Yes they wanted a micro-brewery/bar in a shopping mall! I wasn't at the initial meeting but the conversation went something like this(cue creative license...)

WF: We want to put a bar and micro-brewery in a shopping mall.

Utobeer: Bit revolutionary.

WF: We think so, what do you think?

Utobeer: Ok then, how long have we got?

WF: We open on September 13th.

Utobeer: *Laugh collective arses off* Oh, you're not joking....

WF: No, what do you think?

Utobeer: Let's ask Glyn and see what he says.....*picks up phone and asks Glyn*

Me:(phone voice) Fuck off! it can't be done! *puts phone down*

Utobeer: Ok then, we'll do it.

WF: Great! You open in 8 weeks with a temporary bar.

Utobeer: Great, see you in 8 weeks.

And so it began, the race to open a bar in 8 weeks. I have to say Westfield have been extremely helpful with the whole project, they want it to work as much as we do.
Tap East was settled on for a name, something that I think Melissa Cole came up with via various email conversations. We liked it because it does what it says on the tin, it's a brewery tap in the east and it's an awful play on words if put together TapEast(Trappist)...*throws up a little in mouth*.
Because of the time scale involved we had no choice but to open with a temporary bar which we really have to thank Nick Otley for, without Otley Brewing Co's temporary festival bar it would have been a lot more stressful!
We managed to open with 6 hanpulls, 2 keg taps(two more were added later) and two bottle fridges that are slightly smaller than The Rake's.
So we traded for three weeks and closed for four days whilst the the finishing touches were applied (brewery, cold store, permanent bar, toilet, bi-folding doors and brewery glazing).
We now have six very smart copper handpulls, ten very smart copper keg pumps and a shiny copper brewery for Ed to play on....sorry brew on. The first beer should be ready around the 9th November when we'll have a tapping party for it, you are ALL invited. If that date changes for whatever reason i'll post the info as soon as I get it.
So where are we? Westfield, obviously , Great Eastern Market, obviously but the easiest way to get there is to get off the DLR at Stratford International as we are right across International Square as you exit the station! So If like me, you hate shopping and shopping malls you don't even need to go into Westfield!! How cool is that?!
If God forbid, you actually like shopping you can get off at Stratford station and wander through the mall at Zombie pace shopping to your hearts delight until you get to Tap East where you can sit down and enjoy a well made beer or two. What could be better than that? Something for everyone!
PS : do not use google maps to get there because you'll end up in Putney since the google car ain't made it through the security yet! ;) Joking of course, because it's a brand new build they haven't found us yet.
I would post some photos of the finished article but I can't currently find the cable that downloads them from my blackberry so I'll leave you to visit for yourself and take pics of your own!
Hope to see you there soon!