Brown Beer Day Ignored

Fans of Britains national drink are furious today as their favourite style of beer, dull, brown, lifeless bitter is being ignored for enormous hoppy IPAs.

International IPA day has been such a huge hit amongst the Twitteratti in recent years that CAMRA

Every beer ever : Grapefruit and Citrus notes with a mild tropical flavour.

stalwart, Stinky Al is having trouble finding anything to drink that's under 7% in his local 'spoons.
Al, who prefers to be called 'Stinky' on account of his beer farts was quoted as moaning 'I'm all for different beers on the bar, it gives me and the other beer zombies something to tick but it's getting a bit ridiculous when i can't find something that's brown, flat and 24 degrees on the bar, i'll have to start drinking in the Pee Louis again!' A deep growling noise came from his pants, we stepped away, gagging.

Speaking just before the main CAMRA event of the year, GBBF, the usually excitable Budgie McBudgington looked quite downcast when speaking to us 'the problem is that there's no one, big event were dull brown bitters are celebrated for what they are; i can't even take an IPA home in a Panda Pop bottle because after leaving it sitting on my bedroom floor for three weeks the grapefruit and citrus notes and mild tropical flavours make it taste rank!'.

Cool, hip beer comedians Tommy & Benny excitedly extolled the virtues of having IPA day whilst standing onstage somewhere in the outer hebrides cooly supping tins of Homeless lager. 'We firmly believe that all styles of beer should be celebrated, IPA most of all, it's well crafty' they sang in unison; everyone laughed.