The Lockdown Chronicles #3

After a little over a month of being incarcerated locked down in his own home, our favourite beer idiot, Rancidbarfly has been living up to his name.

With his sleep patterns all over the place things came to a head at 3am this morning when, whilst wide awake he managed to sit through almost three whole episodes of Brews Brothers on Netflix.

With used beer cans strewn around his front room and wearing pyjamas that were trying to walk into the washing machine on their own, our hero had gotten to the utterly bored point of not being able to decide what to watch any more as he had completed all the porn on the internet and the Disney channel and had finally found himself at a loss.
Having heard some colourful reports from some well rounded members of the beer crafteratti he opened up Netflix with some trepidation and found Brews Brothers, ironically tucked away in comedies.

With the premiss being two antagonists run a brewery with all manner of illegal, slapstick shit happening from day to day the program is based in a craft brewery, tucked away in a shitty neighbourhood of LA and not doing very well.

Rancid finally had enough at almost 5.30am having watched "inverted commas" nearly three episodes. The only thing he could remember was 1) piss in beer, 2) food-truck sex and 3) underage brewery manager. Other than that Rancid's brain appeared to not take any of this nonsense in a fit of pique he tidied up the front room, put the recycling out, showered and once dressed looked for actual work to do.
Remembering though that the UK is still in lockdown and his work had completely dried up, his brain had the idea of at least finishing the series of Brews Brothers. Rancidbarfly then did something he never usually did, he took the more sensible option which at 5.47am precisely, happened to be trying to Facetime the speaking clock.

Bar Staff At Your Local Actually Not Your Mate After All

Bar staff at your local crafty beer emporium who have been talking to you as if you were their best
mate all afternoon whilst you drink inappropriately priced crafty brews aren't really your mate at all and are actually found to slag off customers an ex-staff in earshot of paying customers!

Sitting in his local divey craft beer hole, wayward beer blagger Rancidbarfly was found to be having a beer and actually listening to the bar staff who were loudly slagging off ex-colleagues and paying members of the public to their mates behind the bar.

Rather than waste their quiet afternoon behind the bar with menial tasks like cleaning and making it look like a place that mortals want to drink in, the staff of the Snake in the Craft were far more productive and instead spent their afternoon mouthing off about old colleagues and customers.
"That dude Theobold who used to work here, you remember him?" Max asked
"How could i forget, he had a real personal space issue" replied Poppy
"Yeah i think he was on the spectrum" Max replied
"He was on something!" August shouted, cue laughter from all.
"Shit, what about that dude who used to drink in here, what was his name? Big guy used get pissed and buy us all drinks when he was in...?" Poppy snarked with a side-eye to Max
"I just called him the halfwit; to his face though, it was all just jokes" Max responded loudly
"I haven't seen him in ages" Poppy said not noticing the young couple who'd been listening leave.

We asked our beer sodden hero, Rancidbarfly why he drank in here since the staff were such blatant assholes "Why wouldn't I? the beer's nicely overpriced, the staff are totally apathetic about service standards & the toilets are a total shit show, perfect place to drink and look cool at the same time!" We went in search of our own shitty crafty beer dive bar!