Friday, 22 April 2016

Celebrity Beer Blaggers Fear for Their Lives

With celebrity deaths mounting up in 2016 there are fears amongst members of the Guild of Beer Blaggers that they might be next!
With the likes of mega celebs, David Bowie and Prince Hashtag or whatever his name was at the point, popping their clogs the more famous and outspoken members of the Guild of Beer Blaggers are hoping that George Reapy Reaper Martin doesn't realise that they have become minor beer celebrities for fear he might write them out of history!

King beer blagger, Pete Brown has even resorted to writing about cider and crowdfunding his books in an attempt to be less influential and famous, he has almost entirely stopped ranting on about crafty beer or the price of it on his beer blag too claiming that he's been 'just too busy but not really writing'. George Reapy Reaper Martin smugly chuckled to himself as he sharpened his scythe in the corner of the room.
Father of Beer Blagging, Michael Jackson.

Feminist beer blagger, Melissa Cole was seen launching the latest of her beery aberrations at London's crafty beer dungeon, The Rake has even given it a sexist name in an attempt to stay on the right side of literatures most famous killer; 'Look, the old boys need to have some fun, i'm just not really looking to get into an argument right now' George Reapy Reaper Martin was seen to be holding up the head of Michael Jackson, known to be the father of beer blagging and was quoting as saying 'It's fine love, your turn will come. Just go back to cooking or cleaning, i've been doing this for years!'. The plus side, for Melissa anyway was that her latest beer Collaboration, named Two Lumps of Coal wasn't wildly acclaimed in beer circles because she had decided to do something revolutionary for it and only use Water, Malt, Hops & Yeast in her latest beer.

Recently reaped beer maven, Glenn Payne whilst haunting the corner of The Rake was seen sliding a tenner over the wobbly table to George Reapy Reaper Martin saying, come on Georgie, I've got no fucker to drink with up here! To which the Reaper answered, i'll want more than that, old bean or i'll send you that asshole, Rupert Murdoch.

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