ECB To Punish England Cricket Fans With Fosters

The England and Wales Cricket Board (ECB) has decided to punish English cricket fans by making them drink Australian Fosters at all England home games for the next two years despite the deep rooted rivalry between the two cricketing nations.

A joint advertising campaign between the ECB and Fosters will see the beer being poured exclusively at all England home games.
A representative of the ECB who refused to be named was quoted as saying "The ECB has decided that the fans are getting far too badly behaved nowadays, so we have decided to punish them with Fosters; it's far less flavoursome than that craft nastiness from Marstons!"

drinking Fosters will make you wear white lippy!

Forde Prefect, Master of Disaster at Fosters owners, Heineken said "we're thrilled to be teaming up with English Cricket, the England team seem to be playing very well at the moment so hopefully making their fans drink our tasteless fizzy shite will shut them up a bit"
He added "England needs to learn that drinking crafty beer makes you a drunken hipster and so drinking fizzy 'Australian' shite will see the English go back to their tasteless, imperial roots"

Heinekens rival Budweiser snarked from the sidelines "we don't understand this British game, cricket; go baseball!" before marching off into the sunset chanting USA USA USA!