Thursday, 17 March 2016

UK Beer Blagging Hits New Low

Reports out of the UK today suggest that the UK beer blagging scene is at an all time low with Old Blaggers clearly running out of steam. This is despite the amount of beer to be blagged in the UK having risen a million fold in the last five minutes.

According to this blaggers sources, all the old blaggers are now far too busy using super-instantly gratifying social media such as Twitter or writing books such as The True History of London Murky or The Definition of Devious Beer, to bother with good old fashioned blagging. Indeed the circle of jerks seems to have been well and truly broken.
Beer, worth a blag!

Historical beer blagger, Marty Cornbeef moaned in his latest 15,000 word post that his blagging site was now just a forum for arguing about which colour of London murky came first and that he'd much rather write another book about it than have to answer any more of the argumentative keyboard warriors in his comments section! Of course the Guild of Beer Blaggers gave him another award for the post and told him to keep up the good work!

Even young beer blaggers, Marky & Sparky agreed that they were now part of the establishment but that everything was still just about awesome and but that they couldn't comment any further for want of upsetting the people that now paid their wages. They went back to running about on the Bermondsey mile and eventually had to be called back for tea by their parents.
The Guild of Beer Blaggers gave them doggy treats and rubbed their bellies as a reward for playing nice with other blaggers.

Girlfriend and Boyfriend blaggers, Barf & Baldy rounded off our interviews with the good news that with so many new breweries to blag from there were bound to be new blaggers popping up everywhere; indeed they mentioned a couple of pop-up blaggers based somewhere in East London who were so super-secretive about their identities and had to wear sunglasses and baseball caps whilst blagging! 
The Guild of Beer Blaggers told them that they'd look into these new blaggers as potential new members of the guild and awarded them the Golden Beer Blagging tankard and a 10% discount on their membership subs for services to the industry. 


Cooking Lager said...


Tandleman said...

I think Cornbeef should write the true history of London Murky.