Tuesday, 13 March 2018

Old Ugly Bastards Just Not Patient Enough Say Hot Young Bar Staff

Middle aged men who are reportedly becoming more and more impatient at the bar according to
"How'd you get served so quick?"
"I told the kid behind the bar i could see a bright white light"
pretty young bar staff who have only been trained to serve them if they absolutely must.

According to strict new rules of serving craft beer, Men over the age of 40 must be served in turn (last) even if they have been (luckily) acknowledged by the pretty young staff behind the bar and they must be patient whilst doing so.

Middle-aged beer blagger, Rancidbarfly was forced to make himself really uncomfortable at this local crafty beer dive, The Snake in the Craft, by holding up a £20 note in order to get served because even though bar staff had told him "With you in a minute, Buddy" 20 minutes ago he had started to get impatient.

"Hey, it's not me who makes the rules" said 21 year old barman, Tree Sap holding up his arms defensively, "these old boys need to learn that getting served in turn is a pretty persons game, nowadays, it's got nothing to do with how long you've been stood there!" he continued incredulously.

"I used to think of myself as mildly good looking in my youth" said a disgruntled Rancid "I must have been literally fooling myself into thinking i was worthy of service somewhere like this" Rancid sobbed before blowing his nose into his as yet, unused £20 note. "I'd better just leave and stop making the place look untidy"
"It's alright mate, i'll get to you eventually, we just need to make you super grateful to be drinking amongst the super hot, i've got a couple of convo's on the go and a few dozen snapchats to send but i'll get to you eventually" Tree Sap said without any hint of remorse. "Now who's next?" he shouted at an empty bar.


Tandleman said...

I was with you until the fairly good looking bit. Fell apart after I thought thatthrough!

Anonymous said...

This is what CAMRA revitalisation ought to be about, introducing a ticket system like in Sainsbury so you get served in turn not order of attractiveness.

Oh, and I don't believe you've ever had a young member of bar staff actually acknowledge your presence either ;-(