Saturday, 10 March 2018

Outrage As Child Labour Soars At Irish Brewery

The craft beer world once again was forced to express it's outrage yesterday. This time at nano Irish brewery, Hopfully Brewing apparently employing a bunch of children to market their beers.

Hopfully Brewing's Lovemaker Pale Ale was the source of the outrage as apparently children are being taught incorrectly about the birds and the bees in Ireland; in this case a mouse in a t-shirt stuck between what we've been informed is a pair of breasts but we're really not sure because we've never seen breasts shaped like that before.

There were so many outraged questions towards the brewery on hate-fuelled social media platform, Twitter yesterday, which were roundly ignored by the brewery.

One tweeter asked most of the questions we wanted to ask "Why do her boobs go like that? Why's he still wearing his shirt? Why are there mice? Why are they employing children to draw their artwork?"
Well, in light of the brewery not responding to these questions we've responded for them; it is of course due to a lack of sex education and a soaring number of unemployed children needing to find jobs as quickly as possible because, well, Brexit.

As a general boycott of this brewery will likely happen on the UK mainland where this brewery's beer isn't widely available another tweeter said "I like knowing that breweries don't want to take our money. It's an interesting business model for sure" We agree, it gives us the warm and fuzzies knowing they're trying to save us money by making sure we'll never buy the beer and at the same time employing needy children.

We can't wait to see twitter's face when it figures out it's a bit fucking derogatory too.

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